Thursday, December 11, 2008

Muse abuse

When men write poetry
Its never serious nor grave.
Its usually about a girl from Nantucket
Whose favors they crave.

Well, I'm here to tell you
That some of us have class.
We don't care if the top of Old Smoky
Is covered with grass.

Anyone can write a blog.
My last entry is proof.
But how many can do it in verse
Without seeming aloof?

I'm actually a minstrel
Who dazzles and enthralls.
I'm really just a
Longfellow in overalls.

When writing poetry
Its usually automatic
That you evoke the Gods
And be over dramatic.

But how fun is that?
I said to myself.
I'll get rid of the drama.
Put it on the shelf.

Instead, I'll write about
My observations.
A little off base
Without reservations.

This year's election
Was quite historic.
Obama was Socratic.
Palin was sophomoric.

During the campaign
There was nobody dumber
Than that Bozo they called
Joe the Plumber.

When the election was over
I was quite overjoyed.
Those commercials all
Made me completely annoyed.

But since then the ads
Are as bad as it gets.
They'll advertise anything
And have no regrets.

I'm sure there's a studio
Somewhere in this land
Where "Viva Viagra"
Is sang by a band.

Poor Alyssa Milano had
Zits everywhere.
Her zit cream fixed everything
Even her hair!

Lawyer's ads on TV ask
If your loved one's in a coma
Or if you suffer from
Mesothelioma!

Yeah, the campaign was long
With a lot of drama and thrills.
But its many ads saved us
From male enhancement pills!

That campaign will influence
Ads yet to come.
They'll take it for granted
We're all really dumb.

Ora-Jel will showcase
Joe the Numb-er.
Poly-Grip will feature
Joe the Gummer!

Yeah, there'll be Sarah
All cutesy and perky.
Becoming the spokesperson
For Butterball Turkey!

I've found my muse.
My poetry is gold.
My talent finally showed through
Before I got old.

So please don't pester
Me to publish my verse.
My poetry is my blessing
And its my curse.

Roses are red
And daisies are yellow.
If talent was steel
Mine would be jello!

3 comments:

Gramma J said...

You leave me speechless, Max!
Kinda scares me...what other hidden talents do you have???

fuzbukt said...

Wow, Max, you have WAY too much time on your hands!

Clever, though

Pat said...

You cease to amaze me .... first a non-drinkin' Catholic ..... then a stew cookin' Railroader .... then a 3-pack-a-day cold turkey quiter ... then a 250 lb. plus WeightWatcher dieter ... and now a poet ... Lord, give me strength for whatever lies ahead. But! It was good!!