Tuesday, December 30, 2008


I lost 4.6 pounds last week with all the Christmas dinners! I am so happy. I credit Jen's advice 100%. Thanks sweetie!!

Hip hip hurray!

The rhyming is easy
For some reason today.
So here's another entry
Without delay!

Pretty soon we'll party.
Let out a cheer!
2008 will be over
And '09 will be here!

Bush left us a mess
Which was really quite rude.
The economy's in shambles.
The people are screwed!

The world all see us
As loudmouth cowboys
Who torture and bluster
And make too much noise.

Whereas Bush is a bozo
The fact remains,
On January 19th, change
Is a president with brains!

We'll start to recover
America's good name.
The cabinet will be competent
Where now they are lame.

Barack'll roll up his sleeves
'Cause there's alot to be done.
He'll use common sense and brains
Where now there is none.

To clean up from Bush
He's one in a million.
And he'll never have to ask
"How many is a Brazilian?"

To be like Mike...

I wrote a blog entry
Just the other night.
Because I didn't like it
Its out of sight.

It was about
What I plan to do
To improve myself
The next year or two.

But look at me
And its plain to see
That my weight loss
Will take priority.

With my burps and farts
I'm just another guy.
The dudes laugh
And the women sigh.

So, the resolutions
Are usually cut and dried.
That my faults are obvious
Cannot be denied.

I wrote two pages
Resolving once again
To do what it takes
To finally be thin.

Yeah, I'll resolve
To quit eating fries.
To drink more water.
Get more exercise.

The typical pap
You hear from us biggies.
I'll read their book but not eat
The three little piggies!

I'll eat more fruit
And more bunny food.
I'll say no to hot wings
And anything brewed.

But this year is different
Because I'm not joking.
I'm using the will power I found
When I quit smoking.

My brothers are sceptical.
A few out of many
Who don't believe that
A Teders can be skinny!

I'll be cutting down
On the foods that I like.
My motto now is:
"I wanna be like Mike!"

No more hot wings, pizza
Or buffets for me!
Its Begone! to Ryans
And BW3.

Yes, will power will help
Where I usually failed.
With Jenny's support
I'll have it nailed.

Only one thing can
Derail my diet this time.
Fat is much easier
Than skinny to rhyme!!

Saturday, December 27, 2008

Ho-ho-holy cow!!

Another Christmas has come and gone. I believe I like it more now then when I was a kid. I am happy that my seniority at work enables me to take vacation during the holidays. I've spent the last two weeks taking it easy and doing Christmas stuff around the house and attending Christmas get-togethers. One thing about railroad work, you often can't get together at the get-togethers. I set up the train this year to run around the tree. Haven't done that in 15 years at least. I even hung outdoor lights. I thought that after I fell asleep, Jenny was secretly taking my temperature. You see, normally, I'm not the most ambitious fellow. To do the two Christmas things that don't have to be done, well, Jenny might think I was sick or something.

The reason I never put outdoor lights out is because its usually June before they get taken down and that looks Jakey. I have them on a timer to come on at dusk and go off at dawn. With them on, I don't have to remember to turn on the porch light for Jenny.

As for presents, I made out real well. Other than a new pick-up, top-of-the-line laptop and hot-tub, I got everything I wanted. Number one on my list was spending time with my family and that was the present I cherished the most. Number two was the Sham-Wow!

Shannon and family got me a leather bound journal in which I'm writing this. She calls it keeping and recording my blog entries. I call it preserving evidence! Writing on the right side pages is a snap. The left side will be challenging. But then again, I think choosing what wing sauce to order at BW3 is challenging also.

I remembered to bring along my camera to some of the festivities the last couple weeks and got some really neat pictures.

This first picture is little Jaden helping her dad to blow out his birthday candles. Curious George is looking on and applauding baby and daddy. It looks here that Grandma Ina is getting ready to stick her tongue out at me. I seem to evoke that response alot

Here Shane is demonstrating a new fad, that has taken Indy by storm! It's wearing your sixth grade long johns over your t-shirt while appearing dark and mysterious. Indy people sure are an eclectic crowd.

Here Jaden is telling Gramma J about her harrowing ordeal as a refugee during the ice storm. Luckily, they got power back on Christmas Eve and were able to open their presents at home on Christmas morning. After saying how much she enjoyed staying with Gramma Karen and Grampa Ron, she nevertheless clicked her heels together and said "There's no place like home!" three times.

Here, Lucy is up in the window meowing at Jaden to watch out for the train! Also, it seems like every time Jaden turns her back, Curious George and Arthur start making out in the stroller!

Jaden and I like to make faces at each other. Isn't she goofy?
Here's Jenny's brother Jeff and his handsome family. On the right is Grandma Marie and in the red vest is my lovely niece Tabitha. She is someone very special. A week or so ago, we celebrated her becoming a CNA, of which we are all very proud of. If Jenny and Shannon can convince her to write a blog, then we could learn more about her interesting life and point of view. Opening the present is my nephew, Trenton. My dad would've called him a "fart smeller". He's a pretty nice kid despite being from Avilla. Jaden's looking at him like he just told a dirty joke or belched.

Here Jaden is trying on a pretty outfit she got from Jeff and Jane. They fit around her neck nicely.

I'll let this picture with Jaden and her Aunt Cindy speak for itself. I don't dare write my first choice for a caption.

Finally, here Jaden shows Gramma Pat and Grampa Wayne how she painted this lovely picture frame for them. She was a busy girl this Christmas, painting numerous picture frames and ornaments for gifts.

Last but not least, today is Wayne's birthday. I believe that he's 70 this year but looks younger than I do! I owe Wayne more than I could ever repay. Not only for the countless number of repairs he's done for us, or the many things he's made or built for us, or the numerous times he's been there for us. He's shown me what it takes to be a great grandpa and I hope I can measure up to his example. Happy birthday Wayne! Come over to the house tonight and help us celebrate Ron Weimer's birthday!

Thursday, December 25, 2008

"Ho ho ho-hum"

It just turned midnight and it is Christmas Day. I would like to extend my wishes to everyone to have a blessed Christmas. To Shannon, Mike and Jaden, our icebound refugees, Welcome Home! To Bob and Barb, your friendship is one of my most prized possessions: Merry Christmas.

I would also like to extend my best wishes to all of both of our families. I wouldn't be what I am today without my family: Balding, overweight with stinky feet and a horrible memory! (lol)

To Krista, Andy and Seth, I want to wish not only a great Christmas, but a normal, ho-hum New Year. So surprises or drama would make it very happy. Just remember, Max and Maxine makes great middle names! Jenny and I are praying for twins! Keep Seth busy! To Amanda Bee, let me wish you and yours all the best. And to my reader from Washington D.C. and the U.S. Courts, if you are a federal grand jury, that wasn't me. Merry Christmas anyway!

Well, I have to get to bed. Got a busy day today!

Thursday, December 11, 2008

Muse abuse

When men write poetry
Its never serious nor grave.
Its usually about a girl from Nantucket
Whose favors they crave.

Well, I'm here to tell you
That some of us have class.
We don't care if the top of Old Smoky
Is covered with grass.

Anyone can write a blog.
My last entry is proof.
But how many can do it in verse
Without seeming aloof?

I'm actually a minstrel
Who dazzles and enthralls.
I'm really just a
Longfellow in overalls.

When writing poetry
Its usually automatic
That you evoke the Gods
And be over dramatic.

But how fun is that?
I said to myself.
I'll get rid of the drama.
Put it on the shelf.

Instead, I'll write about
My observations.
A little off base
Without reservations.

This year's election
Was quite historic.
Obama was Socratic.
Palin was sophomoric.

During the campaign
There was nobody dumber
Than that Bozo they called
Joe the Plumber.

When the election was over
I was quite overjoyed.
Those commercials all
Made me completely annoyed.

But since then the ads
Are as bad as it gets.
They'll advertise anything
And have no regrets.

I'm sure there's a studio
Somewhere in this land
Where "Viva Viagra"
Is sang by a band.

Poor Alyssa Milano had
Zits everywhere.
Her zit cream fixed everything
Even her hair!

Lawyer's ads on TV ask
If your loved one's in a coma
Or if you suffer from

Yeah, the campaign was long
With a lot of drama and thrills.
But its many ads saved us
From male enhancement pills!

That campaign will influence
Ads yet to come.
They'll take it for granted
We're all really dumb.

Ora-Jel will showcase
Joe the Numb-er.
Poly-Grip will feature
Joe the Gummer!

Yeah, there'll be Sarah
All cutesy and perky.
Becoming the spokesperson
For Butterball Turkey!

I've found my muse.
My poetry is gold.
My talent finally showed through
Before I got old.

So please don't pester
Me to publish my verse.
My poetry is my blessing
And its my curse.

Roses are red
And daisies are yellow.
If talent was steel
Mine would be jello!

Friday, December 5, 2008

"Santa Shaved!"

If I remember correctly, I haven't blogged since Veteran's Day. Thank God I don't write for a living because I've got writer's block. I've started to write blog entries a number of times, including an open letter to Santa and after a paragraph or so I hit a brick wall. Heck, since I've blogged last, little Jaden has learned her alphabet, can figure square roots in her head and knows the presidents through the first Roosevelt. Well, I might be exaggerating a tad. I don't think she knows the presidents after Lincoln.

To catch you up since I've last blogged, I've lost 10 more pounds (2.8 pounds Thanksgiving week!) Most of it was probably hair. It seems that I'm destined to be a FUZBUKT look alike. Geez, now I'm depressed (hehe). With the economic downturn, the railroad is running fewer trains and I no longer have enough seniority to hold the Garrett to Cleveland run. So, goodbye high paying trips. Goodbye to the two days off between trips. Goodbye to the swimming pool, sauna and hot tub at the Wyndom Hotel in Cleveland and goodbye to the easy trains. Now I'm back in the Garrett to Chicago pool and its goodbye social life and goodbye extra sleep.

My sister Linda had an operation yesterday and Jenny found out from my niece Cathy that she is doing fine. That makes me happy. Linda is one of God's better ideas.

I was watching Countdown on TV yesterday and Michael Moore was on talking about bailing out GM. He said something that got me thinking. He said that GM is asking for a 16 Billion dollar loan but the whole company is capitalized (the value of all its outstanding stock) at less than 3 Billion! He said that's like giving a $700,000 mortgage on a $100,000 house and isn't that how we got into this mess in the first place? Thank God (again) that we don't have Joe the Plumber trying to get us out of this mess!

As most of you know, Christmas is three weeks away. That makes me happy. Christmas means that I'll be able to spend time with my family and that's the best present of all. Jenny and I aren't buying each other clothes this Christmas. We are hoping that we wont be in our current sizes long enough for new clothes. "Of thee I sing!"

Coming in a little over a week is the birthday of my beloved son-in-law, Mike. He is a good complement to me. His insurance company charges him extra because he's too skinny and mine charges me extra for being too fat. He plays a round of golf in double figures, I do it in triple figures. But what's important is how we're similar. We both have outstanding wives and daughters!!

For those of you who are sick of the Christmas Specials on TV, be aware that I have not seen one yet this year. Are they still showing them or are people starting to get sick of seeing Frosty the Snowman for the 30th time? The History Channel doesn't start their Christmas specials til the week before. I love cable TV!

Back when I started writing this blog, I could write an entry wherever I was and despite whatever was going on around me. Now, after I've done the easy subjects, I can't write if the TV is on or anyone is talking. On a train, I write Pulitzer Prize material. At home, with the TV on its "Laverne and Shirley"! On a train, its wry, at home its rye. On a train, its Red Skelton, at home its Deuce Bigalow! On a train, its Hillary. At home, its Sarah. Now that I'm on the Chicago run, I ought to have plenty of time to write some really great stuff!

Finally, now is the season where the fat guys get a little respect. There's no wonder why I love Christmas. All will be great until the first kid cries "Santa Shaved!!"