"Santa Shaved!"

If I remember correctly, I haven't blogged since Veteran's Day. Thank God I don't write for a living because I've got writer's block. I've started to write blog entries a number of times, including an open letter to Santa and after a paragraph or so I hit a brick wall. Heck, since I've blogged last, little Jaden has learned her alphabet, can figure square roots in her head and knows the presidents through the first Roosevelt. Well, I might be exaggerating a tad. I don't think she knows the presidents after Lincoln.

To catch you up since I've last blogged, I've lost 10 more pounds (2.8 pounds Thanksgiving week!) Most of it was probably hair. It seems that I'm destined to be a FUZBUKT look alike. Geez, now I'm depressed (hehe). With the economic downturn, the railroad is running fewer trains and I no longer have enough seniority to hold the Garrett to Cleveland run. So, goodbye high paying trips. Goodbye to the two days off between trips. Goodbye to the swimming pool, sauna and hot tub at the Wyndom Hotel in Cleveland and goodbye to the easy trains. Now I'm back in the Garrett to Chicago pool and its goodbye social life and goodbye extra sleep.

My sister Linda had an operation yesterday and Jenny found out from my niece Cathy that she is doing fine. That makes me happy. Linda is one of God's better ideas.

I was watching Countdown on TV yesterday and Michael Moore was on talking about bailing out GM. He said something that got me thinking. He said that GM is asking for a 16 Billion dollar loan but the whole company is capitalized (the value of all its outstanding stock) at less than 3 Billion! He said that's like giving a $700,000 mortgage on a $100,000 house and isn't that how we got into this mess in the first place? Thank God (again) that we don't have Joe the Plumber trying to get us out of this mess!

As most of you know, Christmas is three weeks away. That makes me happy. Christmas means that I'll be able to spend time with my family and that's the best present of all. Jenny and I aren't buying each other clothes this Christmas. We are hoping that we wont be in our current sizes long enough for new clothes. "Of thee I sing!"

Coming in a little over a week is the birthday of my beloved son-in-law, Mike. He is a good complement to me. His insurance company charges him extra because he's too skinny and mine charges me extra for being too fat. He plays a round of golf in double figures, I do it in triple figures. But what's important is how we're similar. We both have outstanding wives and daughters!!

For those of you who are sick of the Christmas Specials on TV, be aware that I have not seen one yet this year. Are they still showing them or are people starting to get sick of seeing Frosty the Snowman for the 30th time? The History Channel doesn't start their Christmas specials til the week before. I love cable TV!

Back when I started writing this blog, I could write an entry wherever I was and despite whatever was going on around me. Now, after I've done the easy subjects, I can't write if the TV is on or anyone is talking. On a train, I write Pulitzer Prize material. At home, with the TV on its "Laverne and Shirley"! On a train, its wry, at home its rye. On a train, its Red Skelton, at home its Deuce Bigalow! On a train, its Hillary. At home, its Sarah. Now that I'm on the Chicago run, I ought to have plenty of time to write some really great stuff!

Finally, now is the season where the fat guys get a little respect. There's no wonder why I love Christmas. All will be great until the first kid cries "Santa Shaved!!"

A day to remember...

Today I am walking with a softer step, with a smile on my face. In a society that bitterly complains about its callow, thoughtless youth, I have experienced the opposite.

My day started off when I got a text from my daughter Shannon wishing me a happy two year anniversary! My life changed for the better two years ago when Jenny and I quit smoking. I had tried many, many times but the coming arrival of little Jaden was the help we needed to finally quit. Her text continued with "I'm proud of you!". That made my day. I thought about how thoughtful that was and how I appreciated it immensely.

This afternoon I got a text from my son Shane wishing me a Happy Veteran's Day! He ended the text with "Thank you for your service." I was so humbled, I misted up.

Yeah, my shoulders are a little straighter tonight and my voice is a little softer. You see, I have again received that cherished gift that comes with fatherhood. Thanks again kids. Thank you very much.

"Woo-Hoo!!!"

Yesterday, America made me proud. For the most part, she looked past the color of a man's skin and elected a man president who will guide America into the future. Personally, I had doubts it could be done. As a kid, I watched on TV the nightly saga on the news that chronicled the civil rights struggles that America was going through. I saw stories of hatred, bigotry on both sides and mistrust that I thought America could never outlive. Even today, I got a racist text message, in all capitals, about how the whites should report to the cotton fields. The person who sent that text, like many in America, cannot see past the color of a man's skin. He would happily forward on all the racist e-mails that circulated about the Obamas. When he referred to Barack Obama, he also referred to Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson. He has no clue that Barack Obama is nothing like the other two. He sees the black face, the automatic tax and spend tag the GOP gives any Democrat and nothing else. In a thousand years, he would never see a black person as an independently thinking individual. He sees a stereotype only.

In the same respect that I hate to be stereotyped, I refuse to stereotype. I agree with Martin Luther King in a very important distinction: I judge people, all people, by the content of their character and not the color of their skin. Whereas the author of that text sees Obama only through the lens of a stereotype, I'm sure that he would not like to be stereotyped in the same manner. I'm sure that if someone would confront him as being a pedophile or traitor just because he had a similar appearance of a known pedophile or traitor, he would react quite abruptly. Those who stereotype the most tolerate it the least.

Maybe the next four (Eight, I hope!) years will teach all America that we are all Americans. Maybe then our culture will be able to lose the African from the African-American tag like it lost the Irish-American, Italian-American and German-American tags. Maybe the strength of Barack Obama's character will help America to focus not on race but the needs of all Americans. Then, when the time comes for his re-election campaign, he won't be seen as Al Sharpton or Jesse Jackson. He won't be seen as the first African-American president and he won't be treated differently because of his race. Maybe, just maybe, he will be seen as an unhyphenated American who applied his intelligence and talents to begin to bring America back from the precipice of a Bush-Cheney induced disaster to the honor and importance of America's proper place on the world stage.

With all this talk of stereotypes and such I find it funny about how one particular stereotype played out. Isn't it somewhat appropriate that now, just like all the other times in George W. Bush's life, when he has made a huge mess of things, along comes a black guy to clean it up!

While Jenny and I were watching the returns, I told her how proud I was that both our kids cared enough to vote. I would like to tell Shannon something very personal: "Woo-Hoo!! He did it! It wasn't Hillary but it wasn't Mc Clain either!! I am so happy for you!" I was disappointed that my favorite politician, Jill Long Thompson, lost her race for governor. Shannon, do you still have the trophy she presented to you in third grade for your young author's book? She referred to you as a "Very intelligent young lady" and me as the dumb guy. Is she smart or what? Indiana, the state where a Republican can gain 10 points in the polls by saying "He'll take your guns!" went for Obama. It is about time. The last time that happened, thousands of cars in Indiana had front licence plates that said "4 U LBJ" Also, my brother Jerry had lost his campaign for County Surveyor in the primary and never made it to the general election. Thinking about it now, I see where he missed the boat. If only he would have come out and said "Mark Strong will take your guns!!" then maybe he would be the new County Surveyor, ready to give me a high paying patronage job. Live and learn, I guess.

Last but not least, this election has brought home to all of us how important it is to vote and be counted. Hopefully, America has quit electing the guy you would like to have a beer with. Tuesday night, while she was walking on the treadmill, Jenny let out a joyful yell. Pennsylvania was just declared for Obama. What a girl! She knew the importance of Pennsylvania. Eight years ago? No way. Like 53% of America's voters, she has learned an important lesson. One thing troubles me though. In the last eight years, we have endured the 9-11 attacks, the ruination of our economy to give tax cuts to the rich, a disastrous war in Iraq and a near criminal neglect in Afghanistan that has it all screwed up, the acceptance of the use of torture, sacrificing our freedoms for security, the elimination of the Writ of Habeas Corpus and the tremendous greed that brought about the collapse of our economy, the trashing of the stock market and the nationalization of America's largest banks. What does it take for that other 47% to say "Enough is enough". This is the first time in 20 years that a presidential candidate got over 51%. If America wasn't so polarized, it would've been 63%, not 53% this time.

So ends the 2008 election. I hope that all your candidates did good. Thankfully I didn't have to vote for Lucy (Our kitty) for president.

Working with a bunch of clowns!

Yesterday, I had a train that epitomized my career on the railroad - "Boy, I work with a bunch of clowns!" For the second time in my career, I worked on a circus train. A couple of years ago, I took one from Garrett to Chicago. This one is the Barnum and Bailey Circus blue train. They have 2 trains, the blue one and the red one. The circus ended Sunday in Cleveland and is moving on to Chicago. We got the train at the uptown Amtrak Station and took it to Willard Ohio. With all the waiting we had while the train was being switched up and other delays, we only took it from Cleveland to Willard and another crew brought it to Garrett. This is the engines and the head end of the train. The head car had the horses, the second, third and fourth had the elephants and then there was a bunch of cars with people. This car is the second car of the train and had elephants in it. I was hoping to get some trunks sticking out, like they were in Cleveland, but they didn't cooperate. One thing that was striking about the head 4 cars was that they really, really smelled! The car to the right had people in it. It is sectioned off into little apartments. The trailers on this picture is loaded with all the gear they need to run the circus. There were at least a dozen cars of them with lots of cars and trucks.

I just got called to take a train back to Cleveland. This train isn't as cool as a circus train but we don't have to worry about having hundreds of people and hundreds of animals on board. One embarrassing problem with the circus train was that people had a hard time telling us apart from the clowns and animals!

Oh, I would also like to give an update about the Weight Watchers change in my life. Its not a diet but a change in life styles. As of the end of the third week today, I have lost 13.2 pounds! Hooray!!!!

From Harry to Hairy!

If you know me, then you know that I do not use the term "bonehead" lightly. I respect the word bonehead and would never, ever use it unless it was absolutely appropriate. The engineer that I am working with now (yesterday's train) is a certified, true blue, gold medal, tried and true, authentic, original, down right All-American, through and through, top of the chart, A number one bonehead. Hoover doesn't make a vacuum like the one that exists between this bozo's ears. I won't bore you with all the details but he's voting Republican in this election because Harry Truman, a Democrat, signed the Taft-Hartley Act in the late '40's! I handed him a flyer, put out by his union, that documented how Mc Clain's plan of taxing his health insurance benefit would cost him over $5000/year in increased taxes and he said that the Democratic Congress wouldn't allow that. He is counting on the Democrats, none of whom he would ever vote for, to save him from Mc Clain's tax policy. Simply amazing!

I had to tell him, twice, that there are two subjects that are forbidden on my train: religion and politics. Now that I have been able to steer the conversation to the railroad (We agreed that its screwed up), the economy (Mutual funds aren't fun anymore), and our kids (mine are perfect, his are bozos), tension has been eased and on one is agitated.

I brought this up to point out that regardless how much you work at it, no matter how hard you try, as long as you breathe, you will be afflicted with boneheads. Truly ignorant people are like cockroaches. There could be a nuclear holocaust and out of the ashes would crawl a bozo who thought "Git-R-Done" was part of the Gettysburg Address. Like cockroaches, they're everywhere! Heck, one's been president for the last 7 and a half years!

In order to insulate myself from them, I fell in love with and married one of the smartest girls I ever met. Even then, my search took me through perilous waters. Even though my sweetie was beautiful and smart, her roommate was not the reddest strawberry on the shortcake! Jen talked to her three months after the start of the first Gulf War and she wasn't aware that there was even a war going on. Every newscast and newspaper for the previous six months talked about nothing but the war and she had no idea what was going on. Even today, her personal life is right out of West Virginia! Amazing.

The sad fact of life is that stupid people don't just hurt themselves, they hurt others too. How about that woman who killed her baby in the microwave. What was she trying to accomplish? I think the state should pay whatever it costs to buy a microwave big enough and give her a dose of her own medicine. Sometimes there is a certain poetic justice that occurs. There was a guy in Fort Wayne who kidnapped, raped and murdered a little girl. When his wife figured out what happened, he murdered her and their three little girls. He dodged the death penalty by plea bargaining for life without parole. Yesterday he hung himself in his cell. Ordinarily I am not a blood thirsty guy but when I read about him, I pumped my fist and said "All Right!" I guess his plea bargain was more than he bargained for.

That is an example of the thread that runs through all aspects of an idiot's life. They don't ask what could go wrong before they do it. A guy I knew in Bloomington, when I was going to IU, got a DUI and bought a moped. That was OK for a couple months until winter brought slick roads. The first time he hit an ice patch and wrecked, he broke his left arm. The second time, he broke his wrist. Then he couldn't ride it because he couldn't give it any gas without his left wrist. A normal person parks the moped when it gets slick out. A dope waits til after he wrecks the first time. The bonehead has to wreck twice!

Politics is much the same. A normal person would have seen what a bozo Bush was in 2000 and voted for Al Gore. A dope wouldn't have been able to see the obvious and would have voted for Bush in 2000. The bonehead, despite the four years of extreme incompetency, would have voted for Bush again in 2004.

Which brings me back to the bonehead I'm working with. He never asked what could go wrong if you elect an idiot president. In the same vein, he isn't questioning the candidacy of a bitter old man and his clueless parrot-like running mate. I can see it now. Mc Clain (God forbid) gets elected and strokes out six months later making Sarah Palin President. The phone rings at Three A.M. Iran has just fired a nuclear missile at Israel. The world wants to know from her "What are you going to do?" She winks and says "I'll just have to get back with you on that one!" and hangs up.

Oh my Lard!

Those of you who have been reading this blog regularly may have noticed that I have a slight weight problem. As I put it earlier, I currently eat more than I move. Well, that will soon be history! Starting next Monday, yours truly and my lovely wife Jenny are joining Weight Watchers. All my excuses will then be irrelevant. I am going along with this because I'm so fat, its either do this or die too young. Jen is doing this to support my efforts.

So let this be the gauntlet I need to throw down in order to pass that point of no return. I feel that if I make my effort public, then I won't be tempted to cheat or skip exercising. When I reach a milepost, I'll tell you. After all, with Jenny's help I was able to quit smoking. Somehow I was able to scrape up the needed self-discipline and will power to end a 3 and a half pack a day addiction. If I could do that, and I'm extremely proud of it, then I ought to be able to lose 125 pounds. It is much, much easier to exercise, eat properly and responsibly and lose weight than it is to quit the smoking addiction. Look to the left here and you'll see a picture of me next to my son Shane. I promise all of blogdom and all who love me or even sorta like me that I will not quit until I weigh the same of Shane. Knowing him, he would probably gain weight to make it easier for me. If you see me cheat, remind me of this vow. I will thank you!

Bam it all, anyway!

Hey, I read here where this guy wrote his campaign speech. Can anyone do that? 'Cause I'm running for school board and I can't afford to advertise. My name is "Bam" Boozler and I'm running here in Broken Nose, West Virginia. My real first name is Dewey but they've been calling me "Bam" all my life. I'm running for school board 'cause those sum-bitches kicked my baby girl, Lemon Drop Boozler, outa school and my cousin Grits (short for Gritzen Gravy Boozler) said the only way I was gettin' her back in school was to run the dang thing. Shucks, she didn't really do nothing wrong. They caught her smoking one of those left-handed cigarettes in the girl's john. She didn't buy it from some drug dealer. She picked it out of our garden! I know she drives to school but they have no call kickin' a fifth grader out of school.

I've been to them school board meetings. Should be called school bored! Ain't nothin' but a bunch of eggheads whinin' about their dumb students. I went when my boy, Bam-Bam Boozler, got kicked out for having "Skool Sucks" tattooed on his knuckles. If he would've had six fingers on his left hand, he would've spelled it right. Personally, I liked it. Before we got there, I used a Bic pen to change sucks to socks and they sorried us for making a big stink out of nothin' and little Bam-Bam was back in Junior High.

So, all you folks from Broken Nose, vote for me and not for that egghead I'm running against. You know that me and the rest of the Boozlers are normal people. I played on the Splints football team like the rest of you. Heck, I even played on the JV team, the Bandaids.

I ain't heard of globs or blogs or whatever before cousin Grits told me about this one. When I asked him how he found it, he said he goobled "dumb ass" and found it, whatever that means. I read some of those entries. That bozo ain't bad. He could be mayor of Broken Nose with that speech!