Friday, October 10, 2008

From Harry to Hairy!

If you know me, then you know that I do not use the term "bonehead" lightly. I respect the word bonehead and would never, ever use it unless it was absolutely appropriate. The engineer that I am working with now (yesterday's train) is a certified, true blue, gold medal, tried and true, authentic, original, down right All-American, through and through, top of the chart, A number one bonehead. Hoover doesn't make a vacuum like the one that exists between this bozo's ears. I won't bore you with all the details but he's voting Republican in this election because Harry Truman, a Democrat, signed the Taft-Hartley Act in the late '40's! I handed him a flyer, put out by his union, that documented how Mc Clain's plan of taxing his health insurance benefit would cost him over $5000/year in increased taxes and he said that the Democratic Congress wouldn't allow that. He is counting on the Democrats, none of whom he would ever vote for, to save him from Mc Clain's tax policy. Simply amazing!

I had to tell him, twice, that there are two subjects that are forbidden on my train: religion and politics. Now that I have been able to steer the conversation to the railroad (We agreed that its screwed up), the economy (Mutual funds aren't fun anymore), and our kids (mine are perfect, his are bozos), tension has been eased and on one is agitated.

I brought this up to point out that regardless how much you work at it, no matter how hard you try, as long as you breathe, you will be afflicted with boneheads. Truly ignorant people are like cockroaches. There could be a nuclear holocaust and out of the ashes would crawl a bozo who thought "Git-R-Done" was part of the Gettysburg Address. Like cockroaches, they're everywhere! Heck, one's been president for the last 7 and a half years!

In order to insulate myself from them, I fell in love with and married one of the smartest girls I ever met. Even then, my search took me through perilous waters. Even though my sweetie was beautiful and smart, her roommate was not the reddest strawberry on the shortcake! Jen talked to her three months after the start of the first Gulf War and she wasn't aware that there was even a war going on. Every newscast and newspaper for the previous six months talked about nothing but the war and she had no idea what was going on. Even today, her personal life is right out of West Virginia! Amazing.

The sad fact of life is that stupid people don't just hurt themselves, they hurt others too. How about that woman who killed her baby in the microwave. What was she trying to accomplish? I think the state should pay whatever it costs to buy a microwave big enough and give her a dose of her own medicine. Sometimes there is a certain poetic justice that occurs. There was a guy in Fort Wayne who kidnapped, raped and murdered a little girl. When his wife figured out what happened, he murdered her and their three little girls. He dodged the death penalty by plea bargaining for life without parole. Yesterday he hung himself in his cell. Ordinarily I am not a blood thirsty guy but when I read about him, I pumped my fist and said "All Right!" I guess his plea bargain was more than he bargained for.

That is an example of the thread that runs through all aspects of an idiot's life. They don't ask what could go wrong before they do it. A guy I knew in Bloomington, when I was going to IU, got a DUI and bought a moped. That was OK for a couple months until winter brought slick roads. The first time he hit an ice patch and wrecked, he broke his left arm. The second time, he broke his wrist. Then he couldn't ride it because he couldn't give it any gas without his left wrist. A normal person parks the moped when it gets slick out. A dope waits til after he wrecks the first time. The bonehead has to wreck twice!

Politics is much the same. A normal person would have seen what a bozo Bush was in 2000 and voted for Al Gore. A dope wouldn't have been able to see the obvious and would have voted for Bush in 2000. The bonehead, despite the four years of extreme incompetency, would have voted for Bush again in 2004.

Which brings me back to the bonehead I'm working with. He never asked what could go wrong if you elect an idiot president. In the same vein, he isn't questioning the candidacy of a bitter old man and his clueless parrot-like running mate. I can see it now. Mc Clain (God forbid) gets elected and strokes out six months later making Sarah Palin President. The phone rings at Three A.M. Iran has just fired a nuclear missile at Israel. The world wants to know from her "What are you going to do?" She winks and says "I'll just have to get back with you on that one!" and hangs up.


fuzbukt said...

True, Max, but think about this:

If she decided to nuke Iran, what great theater it would be if she went on TV later and said "Gotcha"

fuzbukt said...

Bam, boy

I be readin' dis heah glug-glug of your'n and I think you be talkin' trash bout our kin folk.

You be usin werds like Idiot, bonehead, stupid, bozo and clueless (I axed ole Zeke down at da gas

staytion what dem dere words mene.)

Ole Jeke bee saying just thinka y'alls kinfolk. Then he be sayin "Ignrance is bliss."

Well, hell, ya. You member da Bliss folks down in the holler. Dem folks, they ain't got no pot to pee in

but they sure be happy folk. Or maybe it's that juice dey be cookin in the north 40. Or mebbe dem

funnylookin weeds that dey sewed in da south 40.

Jest cause we is called trash, dere be no call fer yu ta bee trash-talkin kinfolk, Bam

Gretein's from this heah side of West Verginny

Cuzzin Billy Bob Ray Bid Dawgmeat